Ghosts should be minded and NOT feared

We are afraid of the boogeyman, even though i believe we don’t really know who or what he is.  One of the most comical scenes in any movie is when Michael Myers surprises his next victim by wearing a sheet with eyes cut out.  He wore glasses on the outside of the sheet in an attempt to fool his victim into thinking he was her boyfriend.  But what that scene really did was show how we really don’t know of what we are afraid.  Our visions of what we should fear drive us and, while people may not admit to being afraid of ghosts, it is exactly our ghosts that limit us and keep us hoping against hope that some force will emerge in our lives and “save us” from the boogeyman.  But even Michael Myers knew that those primal fears are irrational and even a bit funny.

Ghosts aren’t to be feared, really.  They do their thing, really, and for the most part leave the physical world alone. However, people like me learn to read their messages and then are stuck with having to do something with the information.  Since I tell stories, when I do find a ghost (rather, when a ghost finds me), i have to tell his or her story. I’ve known about this for a really long time, but I haven’t been all that willing to admit that i have this mission.  I’ve come to understand that we all have that ability, it’s just that we ignore and dismiss anything that doesn’t fit into our world view.  This is true, especially when it comes to things of a spiritual nature.  We are often herded into religious frames of reference that can have value, but more often than not exist to control us and make us even more afraid.  Sure, people like Jesus of Nazareth did all they could to teach humanity how the supernatural world works, but then we take his message and box it into what WE think it should be.  Therefore we wander the physical realm like ignorant robots spewing things from our mouths that weren’t our own thoughts in the first place.

I’m not out to be believed. I gave up on that years ago.  If I’ve learned anything over the years of following my writing path it’s that people seek to reinforce their own opinions, regardless of their origin and don’t do much to escape or fold in new learnings such that they own the space between their ears.  The majority of people with whom I’ve come into contact are stuck in an endless loop of reinforcement that they don’t want broken.

So why do I continue to chase windmills as though they’re dragons?  Because I will leave the physical world someday and there needs to be a record of this path of mine such that future generations might actually find the record and realize that past, present, and future are all integrated into one single flow within the supernatural realm and perhaps my descendants, direct or indirect will actually see that someone knew about this integrated time.  In the physical world, time dominates almost all of humanity’s actions, but in the supernatural realm, it doesn’t even exists, which is why when ghosts give us messages, we don’t believe them: Since time doesn’t exists in their world, they approach they physical realm out of context and without context, messages seem like random coincidences that have no reality.

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Jesus is my favorite psychologist

I’ve studied and liked tons of psychologists.  Maslow’s triangle of human needs and Jung’s collective unconscious continue to whet my intellectual appetite.  Educational psychologists Piaget and Vygotsky continue to inform my work and open up avenues of exploration.  But, without any doubt in my mind, my favorite psychologist is Jesus.

Now, I’m not a very religious guy and I can’t say I’m in favor of any belief over another.  I can say, though, that when I do read the gospels, I find something in Jesus’ teachings that illuminates my work and allow me to find answers for questions I didn’t even know I had.  While Jesus did teach using parables, he often was quite direct in how he approached his students.  For example, he said, “Let your ‘no’ mean ‘no’ and your ‘yes’ mean ‘yes.’  Anything other than this is the work of the evil one.”  He was saying that people should mean what they say without having to swear upon this or that.  However, one of Jesus’ great techniques was using gestalt-type arguments to make his point.  That is, what he didn’t say was often as important as what he did say.

Over the last several years, when working with families and individuals in recovery, trust must be rebuilt after long periods of time when substance abuse as destroyed it. Jesus’ statement about ‘no’ being ‘no’ often comes to mind, but the flip side of what Jesus said is just as important: Others have to let our no’s be no’s and our yes’s be yes’s; otherwise, there’s no point in meaning what we say.

For example, a man in early recovery from an alcohol addiction might tell his wife that the reason he’s late getting home from work is that he needed to finish a major assignment before he left.  He may be telling the truth and meaning what he said, but his wife doubts him due to their history. She pushes him, as though her interrogation will yield “the truth.”  He then starts swearing on a Bible, but never really convinces her.  Mostly, she just gives up.  The trust is not there, even though the man allowed his words to be his truth.

What’s worse, though, is when we tell ourselves “yes” or “no” about issues we face, but then doubt ourselves that we’re meaning what we say.  For example, we can tell ourselves that we will keep to our diet and exercise plans, but doubt that we will actually follow-through on what we said we’d do.

I concur with Jesus that by not allowing our no’s and yes’s to be what they are, we are exposing ourselves to bad juju.  If there is that much doubt about what we say, there’s clearly a lack of trust and faith that we can use our words to convey our truth.  When our own truth isn’t received, even to ourselves, we can become spun out and do things that only lead to more distrust and anger.  Jesus was right: We should let our no’s be no’s and our yes’s be yes’s.  But we should also let others’s no’s be no’s and their yes’s be yes’s.  That Jesus: What a psychologist he was!